‘Untitled’ (with love)

Poem by Hugh S. Brunson III

I wanted to be sad, to have the tears well up, to think back to our last days. I wanted to picture the time, So, I reread, “My friend, Where did you go?”, Remembering the love that I was too blind to see. How proud you were of me, I did not realize, never heard you say it, But, your friends will never let me forget. And, it is because of this that there are days that I miss the opportunity to say how much I truly love you. Not because we are family, but, because you were an amazing person. Never wanting recognition, or an award, but, always there, giving all you had. Sometimes your down-to-earth advice was hard to swallow. But, always right in the end, you have helped countless young men succeed in life. I know there were times when I was jealous, not sure why I didn’t want to share. I know that Cat Stevens song, “Cat’s in the Cradle and a Silver Spoon,” inspired many poems full of frustration. Mirroring the lack of love, of disappointment in our father-son relationship. I felt like a failure most days in my youth! So eager to put my best foot forward, only to be overzealous and end up making a mistake. Sometimes, to this day, I still feel like a child sitting on my Dad’s knee. I wonder, if not for my emotional stance, maybe our relationship would have had a different outcome. To now … present day, I sit behind my desk, cigarette in hand, sweat pouring from my forehead. Papers, pencils, pens, all arranged in their appropriate pile. A green shirt jacket hanging off the chair. The office stinks of frustration, And yet, I can still manage a smile. I can see him sitting behind his desk, trying desperately to say cool or warm, depending on the season. And, I realize that as hard as I fought in my youth not to end up like him, I am more like him each and every day, Trying to live life with the best intentions. I so wish you were here, Dad. There is so much I want to say! If I was to see you now, I would have to go with these three phrases: I am proud to be your son, Thank you for giving all you had, And I love you. I love you, Dad!

Author: Rachel Howell

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