Who is teaching your child ?
By Chief Danny Watson
Who is teaching your child what kind of person they will become? Is it you? Most parents spend about five hours a day with their children during the school year. I know that you are wondering where I got that number from. Most parents work an average of about eight to nine hours per day ,not including transit. Children sleep an average of seven to eight hours per day. When you add that together you have approximately seven hours left – which is not really that much. Providing for a two hour window of you doing other things you need to do, you may have five hours left; but, maybe not.
I can remember when I worked a lot more than just ten hours a day. During the time I was sleeping, my children were at school; and when I got home, they were sleeping. On the weekends you catch up on sleep. You catch up on things that you were not able to accomplish during the week because you were working. It seems that my oldest daughter went from being a baby to about six years old in the blink of an eye. It happened while I was working too much. I wish I could go back.
What does this have to do with anything? Well, to be quite honest, a lot. I have, in twenty-two years of being a police officer, seen so many young adults end up in court. During that time I have spoken to countless parents who have said, “Where did I go wrong?” Most times you tell them that they did not go wrong anywhere that all you can do is your best. You teach them the right things to do and they make their own choices.
However, you know that they have lingering doubts as they walk away. I personally agonize over it all the time. My children are wonderful, pretty, smart and capable. They can and will make mistakes. Mistakes are part of life. I am sure that right now reading this, you think well, I am ok. My children have all that they need to do well. It is during times of stress that a child’s will is tested to the maximum. Times when their friends and other influences will take every opportunity to lead them off of the path you have prepared for them.
In the world today children are exposed to more evil through the cellphone in their pocket than most adults have experienced in a lifetime. It has to make you wonder have you done enough. This is not an article to make you wonder if you are a bad parent. The fact of the matter is that this is a reminder that the most important thing we have as parents is the time we spend with our babies.
I encourage you not to be your child’s friend, but be their parent. (You can always spoil your grandchildren later.) Stay on top of where they go. Stay on top of what is on that cell phone. Know who they are with at all times. Do you trust that person? If you don’t, even if it’s just a funny feeling you can’t quite put your finger on, trust your instincts put a stop to it. The phrases: “I wish,” “I just thought,” “I meant to” and etc. are cold things to keep you company when something happens that you might have prevented.
Whether you have five hours a day or ten hours a day with your child, make it count. The world around them will raise them for you if you don’t raise them yourself. Don’t be a parent who wishes they had, when you could have been the parent that could have made a difference by taking the time.
Chief Danny Watson MPA FBI NA # 228, Chief of Police for City of Darlington, S.C.