Domestic violence survivor shares story at Dancing with the Stars event
By Melissa Rollins, Editor, editor@newsandpress.net
The dances were catchy, the costumes full of flare and at the end of the night the 2018 Dancing with the Stars of Darlington County winners were chosen. For the first time in its five-year history, the judges and the voters agreed and Celebrity Dancer Curtis Boyd along with his partner, Professional Dancer Logan Suggs were crowned the best dancers and the People’s Choice, taking home the coveted mirror ball trophies.
The theme for the evening was City Lights-Broadway Nights, with each team choosing a musical and dance style that got their feet moving. The choices were broad, ranging from old favorites like Beauty and the Beast to recent hits like Hamilton, taking audiences to the West Side (Story) to settle a feud and all the way to Cherry Tree Lane to dance the Jive with everyone’s favorite chimney sweep.
Held Jan. 25 at Hartsville’s iconic Center Theater the annual event benefits the Pee Dee Coalition against Domestic and Sexual Assault, which offers support services to victims across the Pee Dee Region.
In Third Place were Noah Stanley and Caroline Williams. Miss Darlington Sarah Floyd and her partner Hunter Jordan came in Second Place.
Winners Curtis Boyd and Logan Suggs brought in 2,500 more votes than the competition has ever had for the People’s Choice Award for a total of 5,328 votes.
While the dancers and audience had fun, at the end of the event it was guest speaker Haley Robinson who stole the show.
Robinson shared the heartbreaking story of the domestic abuse she experienced as a teenager.
She began her story with a recording of a phone message her now ex-boyfriend left for her in 2011.
“I was at a dance studio with my younger brother and we leave; it was just a typical night,” Robinson said. “On my car windowshield I see roses and I automatically know who they are from. My younger brother and I scout the parking lot but my ex is nowhere to be found. We get into the car and we start heading home, which by the way is a 45-minute drive. I look up into my rearview and, sure enough, he (her ex) is right behind me. There really are no words to describe that moment for me. I honestly was not sure that I was going to get myself and my younger brother home alive.”
Robinson said that that night was just one instance of the fear he made her feel.
“This was a culmination of four years of abuse,” Robinson said. “I met him as a freshman in high school. The first six months the relationship seemed normal to me. Then I started noticing increased text messages and him getting frustrated when I didn’t want to kiss him. So I tried to end the relationship and he came back to my response with ‘I will try to end my life.” I had to take him seriously, I knew his background, and I knew he struggled with depression. How could I be responsible for this kid losing his life? So I stayed. From there, things only got worse.”
Her boyfriend began to show up at her house in the middle of the night and controlled who she talked to and where she went.
“He isolated me and my friends didn’t understand why I stayed so they all left,” Robinson said. “He turned my insecurities into large fires. At the age of sixteen, your body is changing. I was scared that I wasn’t smart, talented; he took those and told me everyday that those were true but in spite of it all he still loved me. He blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life. He exerted his strength over me, intimidating and forcing in unwanted sexual acts; this is when I started to disassociate. My parents tried to get me to go to therapy, as any parents would who all of a sudden sees that their daughter is no longer interested in dance. But at that point, I was so far removed from my reality and I didn’t see anything wrong.”
At her parents instance Robinson auditioned for a boarding school for the arts and both she and her younger brother were accepted. Her parents insisted that for him to go, Robinson had to go as well.
“My parents put it on me that my younger brother wouldn’t have this opportunity to go if I didn’t go, so I made the decision to go,” Robinson said. “From there, my roommates ended up being my greatest support system. They would wake me up in the middle of the night because my screams were unbearable. They held me while I cried. They spoke truths to me and constantly reminded me when I started to doubt that I was there on a full scholarship; I was smart, I was talented.”
In December 2010, Robinson changed her phone number and blocker her ex. Then on March 22, 2011, he followed her home from that dance studio. After calling her dad, Robinson pulled into a gas station and waited. Sure enough, her ex pulled in too.
“My dad came over as he approached my car and told him that if he tried to call or text me again, we would get the police involved,” Robinson said. “Twenty minutes later, he was calling and texting me. My dad drove me down to the police station.”
Unfortunately, not everyone understood the seriousness of what was going on.
“We approached a policeman and my dad told him the story,” Robinson said. “I will never forget that this policeman scoffed and said that boys would be boys and that it would all blow over. Luckily, my dad was persistent and he insisted that we talk to his higher up. I thank the Lord that that higher up was a woman. She took me seriously. She sat me down in a room, closed the door and my dad wasn’t there so I could spill my guts. She made me feel so safe. She encouraged me to file for a restraining order and helped me fill out all of the paperwork. She had ties to the court and called to make sure that my case would be heard the very next day.”
Though the experience of being in court was daunting, Robinson said that two women helped make it a little less scary.
“When I showed up to the courthouse the next day with my dad, I was greeted by two female volunteers serving as advocates and they made my horrible experience just that little bit better,” Robinson said. “They walked me through the process and sat with me as I waited for my turn. By 18-years-old, I was granted a restraining order. What’s even more horrible about my experience is that my story is not unique; I’m not the only one.”
According to the CDC, around 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic violence. And while Robinson is no longer in a domestic violence situation, she said that it has stuck with her.
“The affects of abuse outlast the duration,” Robinson said. “For example, I can no longer put my bed against the wall because when my night terrors come back I start fighting and I end up with bruises. I have since been diagnosed with PTSD and I am constantly in a fight or flight mode. I notice everyone around me, I know how far away you are from me, and I can automatically pick up any descriptors. But small non-profit organizations like the Pee Dee Coalition helped me find the services that I needed on my road to recovery.”
Pee Dee Coalition is a nonprofit volunteer organization dedicated to the reduction of sexual assault, family violence, and child abuse and to the needs of its victims. They can be found at peedeecoalition.org and a 24-hour crisis line can be reached at 1-800-273-1820.
