Local author uses poetry to talk about domestic violence
By Melissa Rollins, Editor, editor@newsandpress.net
Niana Renee said that though her life has been much different than she expected, she has come to terms with her past. In April, she released a book of poetry, Poetic Diaries Ambiguous Love, that she says is a ‘raw’ look at domestic abuse.
“The book just came out but I’ve been working on it since last year,” Renee said. “My first time doing spoken word and putting myself out there was June of last year. I performed some of my poems and broke it down into the person I was and what happened to me.”
Renee said that she experienced heartbreak young.
“My father was the first man to break my heart with me not knowing him,” Renee said. “It just set the bar to continue down a path for heartbreak.”
She ended up in a relationship with a man who was controlling and he eventually turned physically violent.
“My ex tried to kill me and although he didn’t physically pull the trigger that day he actually did it mentally and emotionally to the point that I started having anxiety attacks real bad,” Renee said. “I put myself in a bubble and blocked myself from being hurt, blocked myself from good and bad.”
After a period, she said that she had enough of being down on herself.
” I didn’t love myself,” Renee said. “I was an abuse victim and a lot of guys don’t want to take that on; that’s baggage. I had a daughter at 14; that’s baggage. I have three girls now; that’s baggage. I decided that I was going to release some of those bags.”
Her writing allowed her to let go of some of the things that she experienced.
“When I started writing, I thought someone needs to hear this but I was scared,” Renee said. “When I got onstage to do my first show, I was shaking. Everyone was just so quiet. By the second time, I did a wardrobe change, I came out there and owned the stage.”
Renee said that she understands that certain topics are hard to talk about but that doesn’t mean they should be left in the dark.
“I was sexually abused as a child and I was a teen mom and I just thought those were things people needed to know about and talk about,” Renee said. “No one wants to talk about them but other people have those experiences too. I speak to the support group for domestic violence victims and they always ask how I do it. I tell them that you have to start over and retrace your steps and find out where you lost that love for yourself.”
Now a single mother of three, Renee said that she has a different perspective on life.
“I put myself in other’s shoes before I judge because you never know what anyone is going through,” Renee said. “The hardest thing for a victim of abuse to hear is ‘I would never let that happen to me’ because that is like a knife. I never thought I would be an abuse victim. If it was a stranger it would have been different but when you love someone that changes everything.”
Though she understands the need to move on, Renee said that she sees the value of revisiting her past through her poetry.
“We have to go back in our past to know where we are going in our future,” Renee said.
A book signing for Poetic Diaries Ambiguous Love will be held at Barnes and Noble in Florence on July 8 from 4 to 6 p.m. Register for the event at: www.eventbrite.com/e/niana-renee-barnes-and-noble-book-signing-tickets-34936157989