Darlington basketball’s biggest fan is coach’s wife
Julie Howle can be found standing near the concession stand at every home game during Darlington’s basketball season cheering on the team and her husband, Coach Ken Howle.
Photo by Drake Horton
By Drake Horton, Contributing Writer
In Darlington,“the lady in black” is synonymous with the Darlington Raceway.
But what if I said to you “the lady that stands”, would that ring a bell?
I have been covering Darlington Falcons basketball for six years and at every home game I noticed a woman standing in the stairwell, watching, but never sitting.
At first I thought it was an administrator. Then I realized it was Darlington boys head coach Ken Howle’s wife, Julie Howle. From there I was intrigued about why she would stand there for an entire game and, more importantly, what it is like to be the spouse of a head coach.
She stands on the left stairwell closest to the concession stand at every home game, standing, cheering and giving her husband every bit of the support she can.
“I was a cheerleader in high school, but I had no idea that I’d be a cheerleader for the rest of my life,” she said.
Being a coach is not an occupation; it is a calling. It is something that requires the complete focus, energy and time in order to be successful. Unfortunately, those three things are also needed to be a family person, and doing both is almost impossible.
But according to Julie, Ken has juggled it all. He is a wonderful husband and their sons have always been a priority to him.
“It’s real fitting that we got married around basketball,” Julie said. “We got married in March, I don’t know why we didn’t wait till spring break, but we got married in March. We came back from our honeymoon so he could go to the state championship game in 1983.”
But this story is not about Ken. It is about Julie and how no matter how difficult the ride has been she has stood beside her husband.
Behind every great man is a great woman. It is cliché, but very appropriate for the Howles.
Originally from Georgia, Julie met Ken by chance down at the beach during spring break in March of 1982 through a mutual friend also from Darlington. By July of 1982, they were engaged.
“We had only known each other for four months when we decided to get married,” Julie said. “My father thought I had lost my mind, but anyway it’s worked and it’s lasted.”
Thirty-four years and two children later Julie is still by Ken’s side and she is still the first to greet him after a game, whether it is a win or a loss.
“I can’t tell you have many times I’ve told him after a loss that the sun is going to come up, neither of us is sick, and there could be much worse things,” Julie said. “I do lots and lots of counseling. I share many devotions with him and send little positive texts during the season and off season.”
But what does it take to be the wife of coach that puts every ounce of energy, every bit of blood, sweat and tears into a program that has become one of the most respected in the state?
It takes patience, it takes an understanding that the person you love is not always going to be there and most of all it takes a person who is able to see the good in all situations.
“I can really see how coaching can put a strain on marriages,” Julie said. “I learned early on to become quite independent. Back when we were first married, of course, we had no cell phones. I can remember one time having car trouble and Charlie Hunt from Charlie Hunt’s Garage came and rescued me. Another time or two it seems like Clutch Bacote from the BP station helped me out when Ken was away somewhere. Most days during basketball season, he may leave at 7 and I may not see him until 11p.m. or later.”
A coach must have thick skin but the coach’s wife must have that same thick skin.
“I stand so I’m focused on the game and not distracted. It’s really hard at times to listen to the criticism towards players or the coach during the games,” Julie said. “There are many other lessons that are being learned besides just winning. Some of my best memories are from when the players enter the game, especially when they enter on the top floor and the fans are just going crazy. The way they carry their selves and how proud they all look is priceless.”
The biggest hurdles that Julie has faced haven’t come from the long hours or the difficult losses. Seeing Ken discipline players is hard, but necessary, in order to instill character in them.
“When our youngest son played varsity basketball under Ken it was a hurdle also because I feel like he always had to justify, even more, his playing time, etc. so that he never came across as biased,” Julie said. “However, the most difficult hurdle we’ve faced is the broken friendships we’ve encountered over his coaching decisions. I’d like to think we don’t have any enemies, but if we do they’ve probably come from coaching.”
She has no regrets, however, of marrying a coach.
“When we were first married, I wasn’t a basketball fan,” Julie said. “I hated the squeaky, squeak of the shoes, but I have grown to love it because he loves it and our sons have always loved it. It is a sad time around our house when basketball is over, March madness is over, and college football is over. Those months without that are pretty dismal.”
In the next few years, as Ken’s coaching career of 39 years comes to end, something that has been the norm for them won’t be there. The idea of him hanging up the whistle does have a nice ring to it.
“We talk about it. He says that he is going to walk and ride bikes with me more,” Julie said. “I think it will be a little bitter sweet. Since we started dating, it has been a big part of our lives, but I look forward to our future. I want us to enjoy some different things.”
Julie has taken the lessons she has learned and is passing them on to the younger coaches’ wives.
“I learned a long time ago to kind of stay away and give him his space after games. He often just wants time to reflect. I think I’ve shared that advice with Dennis Gearhart’s wife and Phil Jones’ wife who are young and married,” Julie said. “You figure out when to be there and when to stay away.”
There is one regret that Julie has.
“My only regret throughout the years is not realizing the passion Ken has for coaching,” Julie said. “When we were first married all I knew was that he was gone a lot. I was consumed with teaching school and later with raising children and didn’t see what coaching really meant to him. As the years went by, I saw firsthand the time he spent preparing for the games or matches. I also began to notice the many extra things he did to make the athlete’s experience a memorable one. I wish I’d recognized it early on.”
Being a coach’s wife is not easy, but Julie has made the best of it and more than anything she hopes that Ken knows that she is his and his team’s biggest fan.
So, the next time you’re at a Darlington basketball game, don’t forget to look for the lady standing. Most likely, she will be there, with purple on, and cheering on her favorite coach.
